Always to Trust

I determine amidst all uncertainty always to trust. (from Brendan Liturgy, Part XVI in Celtic Daily Prayer)

I want to eliminate uncertainty. When the discomfort of the unknown arises, I search for an answer, a solution, or try to remove that discord from my life. For example, when relationships or work opportunities arise that don’t seem to have clear, obtainable goals, I often drop or ignore them.

When the disciples said yes to following Jesus, they were not certain about what they would be doing. They knew about fishing or tax collecting. Yet, something about Jesus compelled them to say yes in spite of not knowing what was coming next: “And Jesus said to them, ‘Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.’ And immediately they left their nets and followed him” Mark 1:17. They trusted this person above the certainty of their known life rhythms.

Uncertainty bubbles up within when I don’t know what will happen. I wonder if a new friend will return a call. I worry if there are applicants to fill open ministry positions. Instead of remaining in this state of unknown it’s easier to just ignore and fall back into comfortable routines. So, I don’t pursue the friendship and I give up actively trying to find job prospects. Then, I don’t have that constant queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I also try to frame life in such a way that I don’t ask too many questions, especially if the response I seek is significant. I don’t want to know if the answer is different from what I desire. So I stay in the period before the question mark. I claim that I’m okay just living in the small world I can control. But that certainty leads to emptiness. The trust I have is in me, and that trust is pretty shallow.

But what if instead of assuming I need to be in control of the outcome for things to be okay, I walk into the uncertainty with the hand of God? As I reflect on the past decades, I recognize that in uncertainty life happens. Sometimes uncertainty is forced upon us. Other times we choose it. However, either way, in these times possibilities sprout.

I don’t know where a conversation will lead or a funding request will go, but I do know that if I don’t step into the uncertainty the relationship or the request will not go anywhere. I miss out. By walking into uncertainty with their certain Savior, the disciples encountered new places, they tested boundaries. They lived life. I don’t want to miss out anymore so it’s time to enter the uncertain times knowing the certainty of Jesus.